Updated: Nov 25, 2020
First thing I would like to mention is, no matter what you are feeling anxious about, if you are only slightly anxious, if you feel anxious only here or there – You matter! You are 100% not alone. As humans we all have anxiety. It’s a natural release of adrenaline in our body to help us prepare for fight or flight. However, when there is no danger to contend with, we are just left with the fast rush which increases our heart rate, makes us dizzy but the reality is we are fighting nothing.
Many things can cause this to happen and in motherhood there are some extra reasons. Feeling overwhelmed, sleep deprivation, a trauma, overthinking and looking for uncertainties – the list goes on. Personally, one big thing for me was leaving the house alone for the first time with my baby. It took me weeks and looking back I wonder why I put so much pressure on myself? But we all do it. We all feel the pressure of family and society to be up and out like normal right? Well its not right, what is right is the health, mentally and physically of the mother. It can be so easy to overlook the mothers as everyone is so consumed with how the baby is doing. The endless amount of advice from people as to why baby is not sleeping, eating or crying too much. I have been there, and I have also been in positions where I felt I could not be honest because someone may think I am not coping! They may think I am complaining or not being appreciative of my new life with my child. All these feelings are normal.
In order to help our anxieties, we must be able to voice how we are feeling and be honest about it. Explain to your partner how you are feeling, don’t be afraid to ask for help because it doesn’t mean you are failing, it means you are human and a good mum. This can happen to us because we love our babies so much that we want to protect them. Getting time alone with your own thoughts is so important!
I experienced birth trauma with my first baby so when I was pregnant with my second I did as much as I could to be more informed. It was during this time that I learned all about my breathing. Yes, my breathing! Not only did it help me through my labour, but it helps me now with day to day life. My children are 3 and 1 and I still have moments. So even when I am in the middle of it all I take a deep purposeful breath in for 4 and out for 6 and I will repeat maybe three times. It slows your breath down and lets your mind know that you are safe in that moment (you might be pulling your hair out!) but in that second, in that spot you are safe.
Try it and please let me know if it helped you. Just remember you are not alone, even if you feel it sometimes reach out because someone else is in the same boat as you.
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