I am a 45 year old mum of one teenage boy and will have been married for 20 years this summer. I honestly can’t believe where time has gone. I know everyone says that, but I think as we hit what is perceived as middle age and celebrate big milestones it really gets you thinking about where time has gone, what you have achieved with it and what your goals are going forward.
I have to admit though I am not a planner. At least not in the sense of life goals and big aims I want to achieve. I never have been. I am very much one day at a time which makes it hard for me to think about what I want going forward. I can say though, as my son races towards 15, I do wonder what life will be like when he has left home (if he does!) and I don’t have those day to day parental responsibilities anymore. It’s one of the reasons why I decided to go back to work a couple of years ago as he was starting to “need” me less in a practical way. I wasn’t needed for playdates or to drive him to after school clubs etc. I do think as our children get older it becomes more of an emotional need to be there. A support and guidance maybe.
I had also not worked for the whole time I was bringing my son up and was perfectly happy with this. I will say I am a big believer in no judgment on any woman’s choices in terms of not working/working. We all do what we believe to be the best for our families. I knew though that at some point I would want to get back to work. I had previously worked managing events and at an internet company but knew that wasn’t what I wanted to go back to. Ten years prior I had completed a year-long makeup course at evening college and loved it. Makeup and skincare had always been a passion of mine but I hadn’t done anything with my qualification and to be honest I had lost my confidence.
I eased my way back to work in a rather random way by being a Christmas temp at a local department store and whilst there my interest in beauty was reignited and I ended up applying for a job at the Clarins Beauty Counter. All this meant I had my first proper interview in about 20 years! I was nervous but all was fine and I got the job. I then got the bug and applied to work on the Chanel counter which I loved but they couldn’t offer me the work/life balance which I realised I needed. It didn’t matter how old my child was I missed him when I was working all weekend and so I ended up going back to Clarins and then Lockdown happened..... This is where having Instagram has been so good for me. It’s been such a welcome distraction and a reason for me to get dressed and do my hair and makeup which sounds frivolous but these things make me feel like me. It’s kept me busy and given me the social interaction I miss from not going to work and not being able to see my friends. I am such a girl's girl too so Instagram is perfect for me. I have been doing it for I would say 3 or 4 years this year. I have not only made many fabulous friends through this app but it now also gives me the chance to earn some money doing things I love which I could never have imagined.
It is though not all unicorns and rainbows as I think everyone on here knows and it’s not always fun. Sometimes I totally lose my mojo, question what I am doing and wonder whether I am good enough. I think it’s hard not to when you are on social media. I don’t let it get to me though. I take myself off - talk to family, friends or watch rubbish on Netflix and have a little mental reset. I am aware though that this isn’t the case for everyone and it can be a tough place.
I have no grand plan for my job, Instagram or my life in general. I am quite a reactive person more than a proactive person and always have been. I did Politics at Hull University and was very into politics when I was young so maybe something else completely different will pique my interest going forward. Who knows...
You can follow Carol on Instagram here
Thank you to Carol for getting involved in Pass the Blog. Such an amazing way to inspire others and find out about the woman behind all the fabulous beauty content.
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